December 28, 2008

Lack of sleep

Here's a thought at 10 pm roughly. I've been asleep for a bit, because I was tired, and yet, one hour later here I am at the computer typing. Hmm, why? Well, often my brain just literally will not shut off. I can't just say 'relax' and do the deep breathing exercises I used to do. I used to be able to say to myself, "k, imagine each breath is drawing in a color, let's say red, from your toes. With each breath it's creeping up your body." It was a mindful way of relaxing myself, and hence falling into a good sleep. These days I literally fall over from exhaustion, sleep a few hours and then am awake again. Bright awake, but tired for a couple more hours in the middle of the night. I wander around, drink milk, look at the dog who looks at me, 'we up for good mum? time for a walk?' Nope, I fall back asleep again, for a few more hours. I never need an alarm clock, ever. I'm always awake, fast. This leads to irritation as you might imagine. I'm tired during the day. I make myself lie down after lunch and spend at least a bit of time just resting, with eyes closed. Trying to keep my mind from racing.

I've been taking a couple of herbal remedies, that are ok with the pharmacist. They work to a point. But a cup of camomile tea seems to help a lot.

I think that that lack of sleep is sometimes causing my reaction. I am touchy and reactive due to that.

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