January 27, 2009

Felling better, finally

Ah well, nothing like a few days of temperature, headache and just 'blah' to make you appreciate good health huh? Yes!

A great description of mania is this. Think of a gas pedal of a car pressed to the floor. Hear that engine race? Think of that as the brain. Now, keep that up for oh 2 to 3 months. That's the wear and tear, and the terror, and the lack of sleep that leads to really poor decision making. That's what leads to 3 hrs of sleep, then back up and let's keep going! Mind is in gear, and lets go, fast, rudderless basically, but we're going! That's mania, in a nutshell.

Now, with the right drug in my system, making me rest for 8-10 hours, the brain is slowing down, in so many ways. Thoughts are more organized. Decisions get made with some thought. Feelings get listened to, in full. Just "calm" is a great overall description of it.

This morning, something is finally coming really clear. I won't be seeing a name pop up as signing into MSN, like my subconscious thought did when I heard that sound on Sarah's computer of a friend signing on. Just a person, far, far away who means nothing to me. Something I have to repeat, as a mantra when his name pops into my head. Hopefully it'll become less necessary to repeat that mantra as time wears on. :)

Cold and clear here today, since its January. -15 C and nice sunshine outside. No wind, but it's still cold to walk the doggy. LOL, can't imagine what you readers would think who don't live here, in Canada. Yes, you would find it brutal! We do, believe me. But coat, hat, boots, mittens or warm gloves, a scarf are all our tools to keep out that cold. And of course hot chocolate with marshmellows! Mmmmm!

"Very little is known of the Canadian country since it is rarely visited by anyone but the Queen and illiterate sport fishermen." P.J. O'Rourke

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