So, we start again. Another year, full of promise, hopes and growth, perhaps. We'll never really know what's up until we get there I guess.
Indulge me in a look at the past year. It was a good year, all in all. Yes, some real downs, but I do feel I handled it all ok relatively. Yes, some stupid mistakes on my part, agreed. Some lost friendships, some arguments, and generally a feeling afterwards of "why I am so damn stupid and reactive??!!!??" How indeed, a step away, helps thy stop looking like an idiot.
I know I've made resolutions before to count to 10, look at it (the situation) with a birds eye view, and take the emotion out of it. Hasn't always worked. But I'd be a hypocrite, and stupid, to not keep trying it. Because I know it's the best way to make 2009 a successful one. Patience, understanding, kindness, and listening. All good things that I do, anyhow.
As I read others bipolar blogs I get a sense of how others feel the same impotent rage that we just can't stop ourselves sometimes. Not from lack of thought, but just too fast to do "it". Too impulsive.
Let's hope, this year, at the end, I can write: I did a good job of stopping the impulsive, snap reaction that makes me look like an idiot.
Happy 2009! Smile, be happy!