January 17, 2009

Kinda depressing news, but not surprising

Well, the meeting with the doctor was good. He took my BP and it was fine. But he said, based on my experience with the last few horrible months, that I'd likely have to be on these two drugs for the rest of my life. Yeah, that's right, the next 30 to 40 odd years. Every day, remember to take them. Every 30 days go get new ones. Every single day, without fail. Kinda depressing. No end, ever to it. In some ways I wish I had cancer instead of this. Then it's either you get fixed or you die. Period. There's an end to it. This disease just lingers on and on and on.

I just hope my daughter(s) don't get it, ever. There is a heritable aspect, sadly. I likely inherited it from some ancestor or another.

Well, thank God I live in the 21st century, and that I've got a good, stable, friendly, happy house to live in. With a supportive husband. I can't imagine how awful it'd be to be alone, with this. So much more depressing, and sad.

I'll be okay :)

1 comment:

The Maven said...

Oh Toria, that's sad news and I'm sorry you had to hear it. But, you know, there are a lot of people who take medicine every day. Diabetics, for example. And they have to always watch what and when they eat, how much sleep they get, etc. They're managing a chronic illness, which is what you must do. It's not pretty or glamorous or in any way fun, but you get to be alive and present. What a gift! Like you said, it's a good time to be bi-polar (and to live in a society where drugs are readily available). Your daughters will learn not only to watch for future signs in themselves (that we hope they never see) but also that mental illness isn't this big, dark, scary thing. It can be treated, managed and sometimes cured.

At any rate, I'm sorry to hear your news, but am also glad that you have two drugs that are working for you. Thank goodness for small miracles. *hugs*