January 7, 2009

Time to write something about celebrities and choices

Ok, I'm going to get opinionated here, so be prepared to agree, or offended. Doesn't matter to me your reaction; think what you want.

People with bipolar symptoms that don't take prescribed medications are idiots. There you have it: my opinion.

Let me go on to back that up. There are some people I've heard about, and others in my extended family who have had bipolar type symptoms. They're denying it, they're refusing to take the meds. and guess what? They are not functioning well. They may *THINK* they are fine, great, awesome and handling it well. But others can see they aren't. How irresponsible of them. Yes, it is our choice to take meds or not. But, if the quality of your behaviour improves on them, so that it makes your familys life easier, isn't that a basic 'good idea'? Is it fair to deny it, and have your family on a knives edge, wondering if you'll do something "really" crazy, not just mildly crazy? Is it fair to kids to have parents out of control, medicating themselves with alcohol, street drugs and/or whatever other method they handle their behaviour with? Kids are sponges. Don't tell me different.

My daughter @ 6 y.o. knows I'm on the computer too much. She tells me that. Don't you think a 6 y.o. notices how Daddy drinks a lot? How he acts funny and angry? Doesn't he OWE it to the child to take the damn drugs? That's why I make my statement above. Doesn't a mother OWE it to her child to try to be there for all the questions a child has. Somebody absorbed in their own problems due to not medicating isn't being fair to those around her. We don't live in a vacuum, sealed off from all others. We live in a society where people care deeply about us.

Ok, now to celebrities. I feel sorry for Britney Spears. I empathize with that poor girl. In the sense of life in a bloody fish bowl, not entirely of her choice. What is the fucking problem with our society where it is reported that Paris Hilton made the sickening purchase of a pink Bentley "like her Barbie car of childhood". That so sickens me when I think of how many children in Africa could be fed. How many wells for water could be drilled. How many children could go to school. How sad that money was spent on that frivolity. Why is it that a mother who has bipolar likely is hounded beyond belief for our 'enterainment' getting back to Britney? Thank god I'm not rich, nor famous. I never want either of those, thanks. Thank goodness she's back in control. Best of luck to her in her upcoming world tour.

So many talented musicians have gone the way of suicide. So many artists, as well. It truly seems as though the gift of the gab, or the gift of the music flowing out of the brain, unchecked, or the gift of the brush flowing from the fingers comes with a price of madness. A touch of insanity, or a touch of fire, you may say. Creativity and mental illness is an entry at Wikipedia. Are creative people truly that due to mental illness (at least some)? Or does the creative process cause some cases of mental illness you wonder. I find, in my case, yes I write easily. It seriously does just flow off the fingers. I don't search hard for words to write. It's a steady, constant flow of thoughts. I don't shut off, either when I'm not typing. That constantly, running, flowing stream of thoughts continues 24/7. Even when I sleep, (and not a good sleep at that) the thoughts are there. I wake up and right away there are thoughts there. Does that perhaps explain the 1000+ emails I sent to a friend? Yes, that's a lot of writing. "How do you do it?" he asked once. Well, that flow in his direction has dried up completely, thank God. Yeah, hard, but I'm past that. My new outlet is right here. See the frequency of posts? Those are the ones I've written down. There's a backlog of posts lined up in there, the brain. I'd imagine it's the same with some musicians, or artists. I've heard that Kurt Cobain, the musician, had bipolar disorder, and that his creative genius was part of this madness I live. I can't begin to think how his daughter will cope. How Paul Hester's children will, either. How anybody who's lost a parent, or loved one due to suicide copes. It's a cowards way out, that will damage every person, near and far, around you. Please, just don't. Just don't. Call for help, somehow. Is this my cry? Perhaps. I have no idea how bad I'll get. Do I hope I handle the future ok? Oh yeah, of course! My two girls are so good for me. That 'I love you Mummy' really does the heart, the mind and the soul good. I asked Vic this morning 'Why do you love Mummy?' Her answer was 'because you're nice, you're funny, and you make me sandwiches that I like'. LOL! Isn't that darling? Sarah's answer was 'because you help me do my math homework and buy us toys'. LOL, my practical, if greedy girl. :P

I love life. Basically, simply that's it. I have to start tonight, asking around the dinner table 'what was the best part of your day?' That works. We used to do that regularly, and haven't been doing it. Back to that, for sure. It's a concrete reminder of how good life is.

I am going to be less insecure. That's a good goal to work towards. People wouldn't say this cluster of words if they didn't believe them

- cheerful
- energetic
- friendly
- helpful
- loving
- reflective
- accepting
- bold
- caring
- extroverted
- giving
- warm

In the Big Five personality traits, (page at Wikipedia) I'd say this about the traits as regards to me

Openness: 80% (close to that)
Extraversion: 90% (close to that)
Conscientiousness: 30% (close to this)
Neuroticism: 80%
Agreeableness: 90%

This is just off the top of my head, evaluating the traits listed under each heading.

Okay, daily dump of thoughts done. Feel better. Off to get on with being a Mum. Back again tomorrow LOL :P

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