April 15, 2009

Feeling so much better after some sleep

Well, amazing what some acupuncture, and then some pills, and then a good solid 9 hours of sleep will do. It makes me (and I'd presume others) feel great. Relaxed, happy, enjoying the early morning sunshine. Able to give my kids a big hug and look them in the eye and say "I love you" with the proper attention. Making lunches and seeing them off onto the bus with a smile. Thinking okay, get to work, after my tea and read on the internet. Haha! Yes, have to have that. FB, bloglines, and IGoogle, and then I'm set. I'm giving myself an hour, to 9 am, then to work!

Yesterday was a terrible blur, with about 3 hours of very light sleep, more dozing than anything. I'd run out of my mood stabilizer pills as of Monday night, you see. Poor planning on my part for not noticing. And then the pharmacist said, you're not due for 11 more days for a refill, you should have more pills. So, back home to search through the 13 bottles I had stored on my medication shelf. Yes, 13 bottles >>>> old prescriptions like my Divalproex, citolapram and Zyprexa. Sarah's old Ritalin that she stopped due to hair falling out in clumps. Old painkiller presciptions that I was keeping "just in case". So, took them all back to the pharmacist in a bag, and said "see what I'm dealing with and no, I don't have the missing 11 days worth." So, got a new set of 30 pills > 2 per day, so enough for 15 days. This confusion, and disorientation happens when I don't get enough sleep. I can't get sleep if I don't have pills. I really did feel old, tired, confused, unable to cope with this detail of finding missing pills.

So, really pills for mood stability, and the lamotrigne for mood lifting, and then sleep, and added to that the psychotherapy to talk it out, and finally acupuncture and the reminding of a whole body relaxing is all what I need.

My holy trinity of saneness then: drugs, psychotherapy, and acupuncture. All needed and necessary for a very happy Deb. This is a good thing. :)

Maybe it's easier to like someone Else's life, and live vicariously through it, than take some responsibility to change our lives into lives we might like.
~ Tish Grier

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