April 17, 2009

Yes, kept my bedtime, and guess what?

Guess what, after keeping a 9 pm bedtime? I feel good. See, it does work. So simple. Swallow the pills by 8 pm, and then drift off to sleep, and get a solid night's sleep. Wake up at 6:30 am, and feel good.

I should talk about money. How embarrassing it is to talk about. My 'champagne' tastes, my extravagant purchases. My donations, just because they'll help. Ill considered, most of them. A very impulsive shopper. Suzi Orman, the money specialist on Oprah would shake her head at me.

I can't go into the specifics. Just too upsetting for me, now, to list them. Just accept that I've wasted a lot of inheritance on things I didn't need. *sighs* When I'm in control I don't spend unwisely. I do pay attention, and yes pay bills. But in a mania state, no, the thought of paying bills isn't there. That's why I have auto-debit on most accounts that require regular payments. And I have Google Calendar to write in, to remind me when other bills must be paid.

I love the quote by Kay Redfield Jameson in her autobiography

"It is devastating to have the illness and aggravating to have to pay for medications, blood tests, and psychotherapy. They, at least, are partially deductible. But money spent while manic doesn't fit into the IRS (or Canadian Taxation) concept of medical expense or business loss. So after mania, when most depressed, you're given excellent reason to be even more so."

She apparently bought, at one time or another, a dozen snakebite kits, 3 watches in just a few hours, and 20 books about penguins (in hopes of forming a colony). And then she recounts the aftermath: ruined credit and personal mortification.

Yeah, I'd agree with that concept. All too well.

"That which doesn't kill me will make me stronger" Nietzsche - famous philosopher

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