February 20, 2010

Feeling a lot better

Well, after another good night sleep I feel better. I took a pill two nights ago and therefore really got a full 12 hours of sleep. That's how long I'm out of it with those extended release Seroquel pills. Last night I didn't take one, and still got a decent night's sleep of about 8 hours. I need that sleep as this morning, I'm awake, chipper and feeling good. I think I'll try taking another Seroquel tonight and then skip tomorrow night. Just trying to find a balance between feeling tired from the pill and feeling over-tired from not sleeping well. Pingponging between the two extremes to find the right balance.

I'm so totally happy over the win of the gold medal for Canada for skeleton racing. It's great for the sport and great for Canada. Woot! It feels good to cheer for Canada. Yeah we're supposed to be self-effacing, restrained but let us have a chance to be proud and we'll thump our chests :) YAY!! GO CANADA!

February 18, 2010

Didn't sleep well

I've slacked off, again, on posting. Sorry about that. Anyhow, I've been experimenting with not taking the Seroquel at bedtime. To see if I could still sleep and not have that awful hangover feeling of being so tired in the morning. It truly does knock you out for the duration of it being in your system. Well, a few nights I've had a decent night's sleep until last night. I saw 1 am, then don't recall anything else until 6 am when the alarm went off. Well, actually 6:50 am for that. But I don't feel rested. I feel wired and yet my eyes hurt from not enough sleep. My flow of words seems to be there again too. I think I'm going to have to take one tonight to get a decent night's sleep.

Part of what I was thinking about last night as I lay there sleepless was the fact that I'm a manic depressive autistic person who needs drugs in order to cope. That's my life now. No getting around it. No excuses not to take the drugs. I can't just throw up my hands and forget to take them, sadly. I feel broken inside. Defective, like I'm missing something.

I wish I was more humourous on Facebook. I see witty comments and sly remarks and think that I wish I was able to come up with something like that. But I'm an earnest, honest, if boring person. I'm kind and sympathetic but can't tell a good joke if I tried.

Just a jumble of thoughts that I've poured out above. I may be preaching to the converted here but I think without the Seroquel my mind is racing again. Bipolar sucks.