April 7, 2012

Some reaction to my post yesterday

As I expected one person answered my post about "I'm religious, unless you're gay" on Facebook.  I got a couple of responses on the follow up post to it, "A teen's brave response to "I'm religious, unless you're gay"' It's nice to see people reacting to it, but I'll never get the huge responses like some friends would.  They just attract people because they are social creatures.  I repel people because of my anti-social behaviours.  I get that, clearly, every single day. It's not easy to admit that you repel people and that you know you do it.  But I know I do.  That's painfully obvious.

Anyhow I want to go ahead and address this article now.  The one about the teen's response to the original article.  How brave of that young man to stand up to his mum.  It can't be easy at all to know that you will be yelled at, belittled, made fun of, told you are a freak, and likely slapped, and shunned.  But he did it.  Brave.  Good for him.  It's so hard to turn tides.

 And then you gave us the assignment to write this essay for our homework and I read it like ten times I even skipped lunch and just kept reading it in the bathroom and by the time I went home I decided that maybe I am only 15 years old but maybe this town will change if I can be honest about who I am and maybe my family will change if I can be honest about who I am with them too. I don’t see why I don’t deserve love just like everyone else. I see some crazy stuff that so many people do and people still love them but for some reason everybody around here thinks its ok to hate gays and stuff. And I don’t know really I think I just realize that I don’t want to be Jacob in ten years and still live my life in secret and scared of being hated.

Being honest to yourself is so important.  This kid knew that and it finally won the battle inside of him. It doesn't win the battle in some.  So they end up killing themselves.  Because they can't talk to themselves, let alone others to let out this honesty about themselves.

I wrote a comment about the original article on an Asperger's page and said that I felt that same way as Jacob.   Someone wrote back to say that she couldn't feel anything for him. "He chose to feel that way" she wrote.  I replied back nicely "you don't choose to be gay, you just are gay".  Just like I don't choose to have the horrible fact that I have Asperger's for the rest of my life.  So, yes I stand by my words.  We are the same. Trapped in a world that doesn't understand us.  Won't begin to try to comprehend what it's like.  His world became a tiny bit larger with one friend.  The teen's world grew a tiny bit with his mother.  But so much hate in his town towards gays.  You don't break down walls with one hammer.  You need many hammers.  Our voices are those.  So, if you read this, just pass along the link.

I'm going to link another article that I found a few weeks ago.  A Rolling Stone article about how gay kids were killing themselves in Montana, in Michele Bachmanns home riding. The war on Gay Teens Pretty disturbing reading.  I felt so angry and impotent at the end of it.  Like how can Christians treat like that?  Where is the stupid "love" in the Bible in your actions?  Who needs the Bible when you are fueled with hate and despicable actions.  You are just a bully.  A bully hiding behind the religious trappings.  A gang of bullies.  Religion has no right to shield these bullies.

I say I believe in God.  I say I believe in my church and its "goodness".  But I am ashamed to call myself a Christian if that means I'm aligned with these bullies.  They don't speak for me.  It is a sad day when religion is used to bully people to death and suicide.  A very sad day.

Anyhow, I could go on, but I won't.  I've said enough for today.

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