April 8, 2012

Some sadness and some joy

Yesterday was a bit of a dark day for me. Not a happy day where I felt joy to the world.  Just a day to get through where the thoughts were tumbling around and angry.  But this morning I woke up and said "It's Easter and I'm going to church".  So I went with my husband and daughter.  I listened with an open heart and a questioning mind. I heard of love and resurrection.  The sermon was about going to that dark place and then finding the hope of Jesus' resurrection in the midst of that darkness.  Never mind that I thought of zombie Jesus walking around.  (joke)  Anyhow, yeah, well, hope springs eternal eh?  And we are to believe that Christ's resurrection means we're all saved?  I'm a believer and a doubter at the same time, to be honest.

I spoke with the minister after the service.  We have a coffee/snack time to talk to each other and catch up with friends.  Anyhow, I mentioned about the "I'm Christian, unless you're gay" blog post and about the replies he's gotten.  She said she was glad to hear that.  She's a lesbian herself.  Yes, our minister in our church is a lesbian with a partner.  They're very happy together.  I think she's awesome, personally.  Great minister that's a lot of fun to listen to.

We chatted for a minute about how open the United Church of Canada, that I belong to is.  How thankful we are that we're blessed with such a forward thinking church.

And I said that I was in a dark place yesterday with my thoughts.  She replied with the assurance that we've all been there.  Yes, they have loud voices that scream hate towards "sinners"  Well we have voices too, she replied.  Voices of reason, love and compassion.  Don't let yourself get caught up in their hate.  Just love and speak of love, and keep speaking of love, tolerance and compassion.  That's all we can do.  And with that, we parted ways.

Yeah, I feel better today.  More settled and more happy.  Laugh if you want to, church makes me happy.  There's people there, smiling, happy to see each other.  I get to say hi to people that I haven't seen in a while.  I get to talk to people and do that social networking thing that humans are wont to do.  So, yeah I enjoy it.

I got to talk with a lady who does special education  help at the Ottawa Board of education.  So she's very well versed on Asperger's.  She gave me a few ideas to get Victoria working on her typing skills.  Since Vic's writing is atrocious.  And gave me a good idea of what to work on, with her.  So, that, alone was worth the trip to church.  Plus all the bonus stuff.

Yeah, I feel happy now.  I mean better than yesterday by a long shot.  Chocolate eating may have something to do with that.  Or going to church.  Or a combination of that and seeing my parents for the first time in 6 months.  They're snowbirds that fly South to Mexico for each winter.

Anyhow, the point of all of this is to say:  I love myself.  So I love others. And want to preach love towards others. That is the key to all of us being happy. Happy Easter.

 God gives every bird its food, but He does not throw it into its nest. -  JG Holland

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