April 5, 2012

Stages to get through

I keep picking up Aspergirls and finding another bit that I love.  This bit is nice from the introduction

Stages you go through when you're an adult and you find out that you have Asperger's syndrome.

Awareness - We find out about Asperger's and the information speaks to us but it just hasn't hit home yet. We may experience some resistance or denial.

Knowing - The irreversible understanding that you have Asperger's. The realization clicks.

Validation - Asperger's explains so much in a life that often seems to have had no rhyme nor reason. This is not one moment but a series of moments that will continue for years if not forever.

Relief - I can finally as the song says "Lay my Burden down". We don't know what our burden is until we're diagnosed but we can tell that other people don't seem to be carrying it.

Worry - What does this mean for my future and my potential?

Anger - For all the blame and misdiagnoses that may have been laid upon us by others or by ourselves. Hopefully we will then get to the next phase of our lives

Acceptance/thriving - We become keenly aware of our gifts and deficits and use what we have wisely.

For me, the awareness came from the psychiatrist telling me that she felt that I had Asperger's.  She said what it was, and asked me to read up on it and see if I felt that it fit me.  So, I got online pretty much as soon as I got home, and then the knowing hit.  The feeling that finally, something could explain me.  Finally, after 44 years of not knowing why I was different.  Then almost immediately validation hit.  The feeling that yes, I am not weird or bizarre or broken.  Finally I knew what all the odd bits of me were about.  And then the relief hit almost immediately too.  This total relief that it'd be okay if I called myself an Aspergian.  That finally I knew what was up with me.  The worry set in a bit later after the relief.  And yes, anger at the way that I've been treated, all my life, by people.  Not so much anger towards medical professionals, since no-one ever tried to tell me I had something differently wrong with me.  Acceptance/thriving, that's an on-going thing.  For me, it's been a journey finding out both my daughters have it.  I'm in the worry stage for both of them, at the current time.

Incidentally a friend mentioned back at the start of 2012 that one of his favourite artists was Alison Krauss.  She's a lovely talented lady with a fabulous voice. Nice that she sings this song.

At the moment I'm getting most of my support from group posts on Facebook.  A feeling that I don't have it that bad, with my girls.

No comments: